When someone hurts us, we tend to want an apology. And when that ‘sorry’ doesn’t come, we can hold it against that person. But if we want to move forward, we have to accept that an apology may never come in the way we want it to. After Jacob cheated his brother Esau out of his birthright, things got so bad between them that Jacob went to live with his Uncle Laban in Haran. Later in life, when both brothers had become wealthy and successful, Jacob decided to try and make things right with his brother. And he did this by offering some of his animals. At first Esau refused to accept his brother’s gifts, but when Jacob persisted, ‘Esau finally accepted the gift’ (v.11 NLT). Jacob never said, ‘I’m sorry, please forgive me.’ He wanted to make amends through giving Esau a gift. At this point Esau showed real maturity by valuing his relationship with his brother over his right to take revenge. So the family was united. God wants us to exercise spiritual maturity too. We can’t control what others do; we can only control our response. If we insist that someone says ‘sorry’ in a certain way, the relationship may never be healed. And we’ll be left holding a grudge. And holding a grudge is like holding a hot coal; it will keep burning us until we let it go. The Bible says: ‘Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you’ (Ephesians 4:32 NIV). When someone is offering an apology in a different form, we need to show our maturity by accepting it, forgiving and moving on.

What Now?

Is there something you need to forgive yourself for? Why not treat yourself to a cupcake or bar of chocolate as an apology to yourself.