Whether in your personal life or your career, learning how to communicate with others is essential to success and happiness in a relationship. Apart from obtaining facts, communication should deliver a way to gain some understanding into the heart and mind of another person. And good communication calls for translation. Really, you’re learning that other person’s language.

We all use the same words, but we have unique languages when it comes to love. What you mean when you say, ‘I need someone to be here for me,’ might not be what the other person means when they say, ‘I will be here for you.’ You need to learn their language without prior assumptions and incorrect projections weighing you down. Such interpersonal literacy will serve you well for years to come. It will stop you from treating her as though she is simply you in a different shape, or imagining that he is just like your best girlfriend, etc. We all need to love and be loved, but we use different means of communication to express our desires. Don’t be fearful of checking terms and comparing definitions to make sure you’re both singing from the same song sheet.

A respected Bible teacher puts it like this: ‘Often in my own conversations, I will say, “Let me tell you what I heard so I can see if that is what you meant.” I am shocked at how many times I hear something totally different from what is intended!’ Lasting happiness doesn’t come from owning things, it comes from having good relationships. So, work on improving your communication skills. It’s well worth the investment!